


Wanderers

by MikaKagehjra



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: AU where Hide becomes a ghoul, Friends to Lovers, I don't think the violence is that graphic but I tagged it just in case, M/M, ghoul hide - Freeform, ghoul!Hide, hidekane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2016-07-13
Packaged: 2018-03-20 22:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 11,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3666816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikaKagehjra/pseuds/MikaKagehjra
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hide had known that joining the CCG to get closer to Kaneki came at the cost of huge risks, but he hadn't expected this. He'd expected the harshness of a misguided organization trying to protect the people it was responsible for. He had had not expected cruelty.</p><p>He had not expected Kanou.</p><p>AU where Hide is turned into a ghoul sometime after the 11th ward arc.</p><p>[[Permanently incomplete, but left off with no major cliffhangers]]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hide had known that joining the CCG to get closer to Kaneki came at the cost of huge risks, but he hadn't expected this. He'd expected the harshness of a misguided organization trying to protect the people it was responsible for. He had had not expected cruelty.

He had not expected Kanou.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaneki was reading with Hinami when Tsukiyama stumbled into the room, blurting out the news. “Nagachika was reported missing this morning.” Hinami gasped and dropped her book, and Kaneki glared at Tsukiyama. He should know better.

“You shouldn't announce such things in front of—“ And then it clicked, and he launched himself out of his chair, stalking up to Tsukiyama and grabbing him by the front of his shirt. “Hide is missing?” He'd been having Banjou keep an eye on him since he'd heard Hide had joined the CCG. He'd thought the threat of action from the infamous one-eyed ghoul who'd destroyed the Restaurant would be enough to keep ghouls away, and so far it had been. Remembering Hinami's presence, he let Tsukiyama go and took a step back.

“Hinami, why don't you take your books to your room for now?” Kaneki's voice remained gentle, but the question wasn't a suggestion. Hinami gathered the books and left without protest. As soon as the door closed, Kaneki was speaking again. “What happened? How did we not see this coming?”

“There was no ghoul involvement as far as we can tell. They're doing a good job of keeping it quiet, but I did some digging. He was last seen at CCG Headquarters.”

Kaneki saw red, and he felt the tingle in his eye that indicated it had turned. “They kidnapped one of their own?”

“I have something else... but you're not going to like it.”

“Spit it out!”

“There was new activity at Kanou's laboratory last night.”

Kaneki cracked his fingers, relishing in Tsukiyama's wince at the sounds they made. “Speak plainly. What are you suggesting?” It didn't take much to figure it out, but Kaneki didn't want to think about it.

“There is no evidence besides the timing, but... I believe they may have taken him there.”

To experiment on him. To possibly turn him into a ghoul. To get back at Kaneki, and maybe even to punish Hide for being his friend.

“We're going.”

Tsukiyama smirked. “I thought you might say that.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since this one's short, I figured I'd post it before I went to sleep rather than wait for tomorrow. I hope you like it!

Hide had no concept of time or space. He didn't know where he was, nor did he know how long he had been there. He only knew pain, and the murmur of a distant familiar voice. His back felt like it was on fire. The woman's voice continued to speak, but he couldn't make out the words and he couldn't remember where he'd heard her before. He would contemplate this, and then the black nothingness would return.

When he was awake—or at least he thought he was awake—he felt a terrible hunger.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaneki didn't wear his mask when he entered Kanou's compound. He did not intend to leave anyone inside alive, and he wanted them to see who was bringing their death. Tsukiyama wore his, claiming it was more elegant that way, and Kaneki frankly didn't give a fuck what Tsukiyama did—as long as he helped Kaneki kill anyone who would dare try to hurt Hide. He didn't give anyone in the first room they entered the chance to speak. His kagune lashed out, killing three in one shot and trapping the fourth in its grasp.

“Where is he?” he growled. The man sputtered, taking too long, and Kaneki allowed the kagune to cut through his neck, ending his life instantly. Before the man's body even hit the ground, Kaneki was moving again. He didn't see Tsukiyama's raised eyebrows as he followed, too focused on finding Hide.

Most of the compound was empty, but Kaneki was undeterred. He and Tsukiyama checked every room, until finally only the room in the basement where they had found Rize the last time they were there was left.

Kaneki did not like what that might mean.


	3. Chapter 3

The fog in Hide's mind was beginning to clear, but a part of Hide wanted it to return. Without it, he remembered.

Someone had approached him at work. He didn't remember the man's face—he hadn't known him—but he'd had a quinque with him. He remembered thinking that was suspicious. Hide had followed him, had freaked out when he saw Kanou... and then nothing.

And then this.

Hide thought he knew what had happened, but he didn't want to believe it. It still barely even felt possible. Finally, unable to face his own speculation anymore, Hide opened his eyes. And his surroundings confirmed what he'd feared.

His stomach growled.

~~~~~~~~~~

In the next room, Kaneki and Tsukiyama found a pair of ghouls. Their kagune were already out, and they had one red eye each—more of Kanou's experiments. But they didn't match, and neither of them matched Kaneki. One was a koukaku type, the other a bikaku.

“They weren't made from Rize,” Tsukiyama murmured, coaxing out his own kagune. “That can't be a good sign.”

Kaneki nodded, frowning, his own kagune fidgeting behind him. “Kanou certainly has been busy.”

The two half-ghouls apparently grew tired of their talking at this point, for it was then that the pair of them attacked.


	4. Chapter 4

Hide's face tingled, and he raised his hand to touch the skin around his right eye. He couldn't feel anything different, but he wasn't sure if that even meant anything. He felt stronger than he had before, so he climbed out of the bed he'd been lying on. There was a spot of blood on the sheets near where his lower back had rested, but he tried not to think about it. He felt dizzy, especially when he looked at the bandages wrapped around his torso.

He stumbled across the room, collecting his clothes and redressing himself. He tried not to look at the sharp instruments littered on the tables around the room. He could figure out what happened when he was somewhere safe. He had to get out first.

But damn, something in the hall smelled so good.

~~~~~~~~~~

The room looked different. Rize's tube was gone, replaced with dozens of smaller metal containers, lining the walls like shelves. Kaneki sniffed the air; the entire room smelled off, even to him.

“Ghouls,” Tsukiyama declared. At meeting Kaneki's unimpressed stare, he clarified. “They smell like ghouls.” He walked over to one and opening it, releasing a cloud of mist. Kaneki walked up behind him, looking over his shoulder at what was inside. It was a pulsing red mass, about the size of his fist. He couldn't pinpoint whether it was liquid or solid. It shone like his kagune.

“What the hell is that?”

“RC cells.” Tsukiyama looks solemn. “If these are in all of these containers... They're growing artificial kakuhou.”

Kaneki's face hardened. “We have to find Hide.”

Before they could choose a direction, they were interrupted by a crash and a scream.


	5. Chapter 5

Hide could barely think beyond the hunger. That was definitely the worst part, back pain be damned. The world around him felt hazy, and he hated being unaware of his surroundings. He couldn't miss the smell that only grew stronger as he walked down the hallway, though. He was salivating like a rabid animal.

_No,_ he thought, _like an out-of-control ghoul._

There was a man typing at a computer in the last room of the hallway, the only person in the vicinity as far as Hide could tell. He was an older man, and his movements were slow with exhaustion. For a moment, Hide felt sorry for him.

Then, all he felt was hunger.

The man's scream echoed in his ears as he felt his teeth piece his jugular.

~~~~~~~~~~

Kaneki and Tsukiyama followed the direction of the scream to a hallway at the far side of the room. By the time they reached the door, the scent of blood—human blood, not ghoul—overwhelmed their noses. Despite the way the scent appealed to his senses, Kaneki felt sick to his stomach. He could only hope that it wasn't Hide's.

At the side of blonde hair low to the ground, Kaneki's chest felt tight, but it only took a second to realize that Hide wasn't the one who was bleeding. The broken body of a middle-aged man lay beneath him, blood streaming from a wound in his throat and from several bites to the chest and abdomen.

White koukaku kagune filled the room, with a red spot on each of them like eyes. Kaneki felt like he'd seen them before, and he thought briefly of a moth's wings, but he ripped himself out of his own mind by continuing to study the scene he'd just discovered.

There was blood dripping from Hide's mouth, and his right eye glowed the black and red of a ghoul. Kaneki had been too late.


	6. Chapter 6

Seeing Kaneki brought Hide out of his haze, and his eyes were drawn to the blood on his hands. He could feel its stickiness around his mouth, and the taste gathering on his tongue—he fastened his hands around his mouth as he felt bile rise up in his throat. He was determined not to throw up, despite his disgust with himself. One he felt sure enough of himself, he lowered his hands, careful not to look directly at the half-eaten corpse on the floor.

“Kaneki,” he gasped, “you're here.” He ignored the purple-haired man standing behind his friend, choosing to focus on the familiar.

“I came to find you. I found out you were missing, and I had to—I needed to bring you home.”

“You've been gone for months, how did you even find out?” Hide had expected he'd have to get out of this mess by himself.

“We need to leave,” The purple man interrupted, turned towards Kaneki as though Hide wasn't even there. “We have no idea how many half-ghouls Kanou has here, and he's in no shape for a fight, even after a snack.” Hide flinched.

Kaneki frowned down at him, offering him a hand to help him stand up. Hide hesitated, knowing he'd stain Kaneki's hand with the blood on his if he took it, but grabbed it anyway; Kaneki wouldn't offer if he wasn't prepared to deal with a bloody hand. “Hide, this is Tsukiyama, my associate for the time being. And he's right, even if he is a piece of shit. We need to go—we'll get you something to eat when we're safe.”

Hide nodded. “I won't pretend I know exactly what I'm up against; you two lead the way.” His kagune dissipated, and he winced. His back wasn't even fully healed from the surgery; there was no way he should be messing around with those already. Kaneki pursed his lips at him sympathetically, but Tsukiyama had already turned around and started walking away from the mutilated computer technician. Kaneki and Hide followed.

When they got back to the room where all of the kakuhou were, there were three strangers inside waiting for them. Two were one-eyed ghouls, their matching eyes glowing as they summoned their kagune, two bikaku types. The third was wearing a hood low over their face, too low to see their eyes, but an ukaku kagune was spread behind them. Tsukiyama swore under his breath, and Kaneki glared, summoning his kagune again. Hide just looked between them all, having absolutely no idea what he was supposed to do.

“Stay back, Hide,” Kaneki warned as Tsukiyama jumped right into battle with one of the bikaku ghouls. And then he was gone, taking on the ukaku and remaining bikaku by himself. Hide took a few steps backwards, but didn't go far, fascinated by the fights going on around him. Tsukiyama was slow, but dealt strong blows, and he never seemed to take any damage from blows dealt to him. Still, the bikaku he was fighting refused to tire; Hide would say they were evenly matched.

Kaneki was like lightning between the two ghouls he was fighting. At first Hide had been horrified that his friend was going to fight two ghouls at once, but Kaneki moved effortlessly, almost like he was dancing, taking and dealing blows in turn. Hide could barely reconcile him with the Kaneki he'd lost months ago. The three fighters moved in tandem, and even though Kaneki was outnumbered, he certainly wasn't outmatched.

And then the ukaku ghoul stepped out of the dance, darting towards Hide without warning. Kaneki shouted, but both he and Tsukiyama were entangled with their opponents, and the ghoul blew towards Hide unchallenged. Terror rushed up his throat, and his entire body tingled as he watched the ghoul's kagune crystallize in preparation to shower him with spikes as they approached. Hide was thoroughly convinced that he'd finally been reunited with Kaneki only to die right in front of him.


	7. Chapter 7

And then the tingling in his body centered on his back and his eye, and he felt the unfamiliar sensation of his own kagune coming out to protect him from the incoming attack. The moth wings (koukaku, he corrected himself) that had appeared earlier wrapped around in front of his body, intercepting the crystals before they could hit his body. And then he watched as two tentacles that reminded him of Kaneki's also snaked out from behind him and slapped away another barrage of crystals.

_Rinkaku? No, the wings are koukaku—_

But Hide didn't have time to contemplate that now; the ukaku ghoul was coming at him again, and this time they were prepared for a counterattack. And Hide had no idea how to use these things. He tried to lower himself into a better fighting stance (it was around this moment he realized he knew nothing about fighting), but the other ghoul was too fast, and he was knocked away before he could think to do anything else. Pain shot up his spine as he fell into one of the metal containers against the wall, surprised to find that the metal crumpled instead of his body even though he know logically that his body would be more resilient now.

He looked up at the ghoul approaching, and under their hood he could see a grin on their lips. Behind them, Tsukiyama and Kaneki were still fighting their respective opponents, but they both appeared to be gaining the upper hand.

_Probably not fast enough for me, though..._

Of course, Hide had no prior experience with the way either of the two fought. And he couldn't hold back a startled yelp as he watched Kaneki charge directly into the bikaku's attack, taking a hard blow to his side, getting close enough to slice back at the bikaku. She fell to the ground, defeated. Hide wondered if she was really dead, wondered why the hell Kaneki would suddenly be so reckless as to get himself injured to defeat a ghoul he was already beating—

And then Kaneki's kagune wrapped around the ukaku's ankle and they fell before they could reach Hide, and it clicked. Kaneki had allowed himself to be injured so that he could end the fight quickly enough to rescue Hide. The ukaku ghoul hadn't expected it either, and Kaneki tore into them while they were still on the ground until they were laying in a pool of their own blood. It didn't smell the same as the man he'd killed earlier—it wasn't necessarily bad, but he certainly wouldn't consider it a good smell, either. And it didn't inspire the same bloodlust in him as the human he'd met earlier.

Two of the three ghouls defeated, Kaneki turned to where Tsukiyama was fighting the last one, but the girl was already running away. She'd only just been able to handle a fight with Tsukiyama, and a three-on-one fight didn't look favorable to her. Tsukiyama tensed like he was about to follow her, but Kaneki held up his hand.

“Let her go; she doesn't matter to us. Let's just leave before even more of them show up.” He turned to Hide. “Are you okay? That looked pretty rough.”

“Yeah, just a little sore...” Hide stood, his kagune disappearing. He really needed to figure out how to control that right away. He wanted to know what it was—how he'd seemingly had two types of kagune at once, even though he knew that wasn't possible.

“You have Hinami's kagune.” Hide's attention was drawn by Tsukiyama, who was dusting off his suit.

“What?”

“Hinami is a young ghoul who lives with us,” Tsukiyama explained. “And you have the same kagune that she does.”

Hide frowned. “I know who Hinami is. But isn't that a little impossible? I thought kagune were only passed down through families.”

“Hinami's parents were both killed and made into quinque by the CCG,” Kaneki murmured. “They were likely experimenting with their new kakuhou to see if they could create hybrid-type kagune artificially. They knew those two ghouls had already had a child, but they couldn't have known she was a hybrid...”  
Hide rubbed the spot on his back where his kagune had come out, the bandages torn from his previous use of it. That explained his kagune... Would that make it more or less difficult to use? Did it even matter? He suddenly wanted to be as far away from this place as possible. “Let's just go.”

They walked out of the compound unchallenged, much to Hide's relief. Tsukiyama led the way while Kaneki walked next to Hide, just shy of invading his personal space. Hide could understand the hyper-vigilance, though, after what had just happened. And he didn't exactly mind the closeness.


	8. Chapter 8

As they entered the apartment, Hinami crept out of her room to meet them, her eyes wide. She carried a book in her arms, one of the creepy ones by the author Kaneki liked. Hide wondered momentarily if she should be reading those, remembered she ate people, and pushed the thought out of his mind.

“What happened? You all smell like blood,” she stated, wrinkling her nose. Kaneki stepped away from Hide—the farthest he'd been since the fight in the compound—to ruffle her hair reassuringly.

“We ran into a few other half-ghouls. Nothing we couldn't handle, though. Nothing to worry about. Hide's okay, and so are we.”

Hinami grinned. “Of course! No one's strong enough to beat you!” She walked around Kaneki to approach Hide. “You're a ghoul now.” It wasn't a question, but he nodded anyway. “Does that mean you're going to stay?” Hide hesitated, but Kaneki answered for him.

“Yes. So you can talk to him in the morning after you've gotten some sleep. Hide needs his rest now that he's home.” The word _home_ made warmth spread through Hide's chest, and he barely noticed that he was smiling as Hinami bid them goodnight and wandered off to her room. He was pulled back to earth by Kaneki's hand on his upper arm. “C'mon, I have to check your bandages.”

“ _Kaneki,_ I'm fine! I don't need bandages anymore, I can't even feel where it hurt before!” Still, Hide didn't resist as Kaneki pulled him towards the kitchen, not minding the mothering as much as he would have thought he might. “You're the one who got yourself all bloody earlier, anyway—“

“I'm all healed up already—I just need to make sure you're okay. Your regenerative abilities are new, what if something went wrong?” When they reached the kitchen, he reached over and lifted Hide onto the counter. Hide yelped indignantly.

“You could just ask, you know!”

Kaneki smirked up at him where he was now taller on his perch. “That's not as fun. Now c'mon, shirt off. Let me check your injuries.”

Hide grumbled, but lifted his shirt over his head. “I don't even have any wounds.”

“We'll see.” Kaneki frowned at a few small white marks on Hide's chest from the blow he took from the ukaku ghoul, but they were practically healed already. There was nothing he could do about them now. Circling around, he tore the bandages wrapped around Hide's middle so that he could see his back without the obstruction. They were torn already, anyway. He pursed his lips, staring at the scar on Hide's back that was the only remaining evidence of his kakuhou transplant. He touched it with his thumb, meaning to test if it hurt, but jerked his hand away when Hide shivered at the touch. “Sorry!”

“It's fine—your hand is cold. Are you satisfied that I'm in one piece now?”

Kaneki sighed and stepped back around to stand in front of Hide. “As I'll ever be. We don't have a spare room in this apartment, but you can take mine; I'll take the couch for the night.”

“What? I can't take your bed—“

“Of course you can, it's just a bed—“

“But if it's just a bed, I should take the couch—“

“Don't be ridiculous, Hide—“

They ended up sharing Kaneki's bed, just for the night. And it was extremely awkward, but Hide wouldn't have had it any other way.


	9. Chapter 9

In the morning, they gathered around the kitchen table to discuss future plans, a cup of coffee in front of each of them. The 11th ward ghouls were out, so it was just Tsukiyama, Hinami, Kaneki, and Hide.

“In the short term, Nagachika needs something to eat,” Tsukiyama pointed out, “And in the long term... We have a lot of work to do.” He sighed. “Désolé.”

“I'll need you to find out what you can about Kanou's research and the CCG's intent behind turning Hide into a ghoul.” Kaneki paused to take a sip of his coffee. “We need to know what we're up against; he's clearly figured out how to make ghouls without using Rize, but we don't know what other tricks he could have up his sleeve.” He turned to give Hide and Hinami a small smile. “I'll take care of training with these two.”

Hinami jumped out of her chair. “I get to train, too?”

“I don't expect you to do any fighting, but we shouldn't rely on always having someone there to protect you. The two of you can spar together, that way you can both learn.”

Hinami cheered, and Hide stared at Kaneki. “I know Hinami is stronger than she looks, but I don't think I'm going to be able to learn anything fighting her; it wouldn't feel right.” Kaneki leaned back in his chair, an unreadable smile on his lips, and Hinami rushed up to Hide.

“You'll have to get used to it, or I'm gonna kick your butt!”

Hide had the feeling he was going to get beaten up by a thirteen year old.

~~~~~~~~~~

Later that day, everyone had scattered. Hide and Kaneki were in the apartment by themselves for the first time since they'd been reunited, seated on opposite couches in the living room with cups of coffee (Hide had the feeling he was going to be drinking a lot of coffee from now on).

“I knew, you know.” Hide felt like he had to confess it, after everything. “I knew almost the whole time. It was the surgery that did it, right?”

Kaneki nodded, frowning into his coffee. “Rize was a ghoul. She tried to eat me on our date.” He chuckled humorlessly. “They transplanted her kakuhou into me and said it was a kidney. And suddenly I couldn't eat anymore.” He let out a long breath, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “I can't believe you knew this whole time. I was so afraid you'd think I was a monster...”

“Well then now we're both monsters!” Hide grinned, and Kaneki just stared back at him.

“That's not even a little bit funny.”

Hide's face fell. “You're right. It's not.”

They stared at each other in silence for what felt like an age. “I'm sorry I got you into this, Hide. I tried to keep you as far away as possible, but it wasn't enough. I wasn't—I'm not strong enough to protect you. I'm not strong enough to protect anybody.”

Hide swapped couches so that he could sit with Kaneki, curling his hand around the other's elbow. “Hey, don't say that. None of this is your fault. And shit, if what you did back at the compound wasn't you being strong enough to protect me, I don't know what is.”

“But I was too late—“

“Ken.” Kaneki quieted. “You didn't do this to me. I need you to not feel guilty about it.” Hide grimaced. “Sure, I'm not thrilled about the whole 'eating people' thing, but we can handle this. Together.” Hide put both of their coffee mugs on the table so that he could grasp both of Kaneki's hands in his own. He ran his fingers over scarred knuckles and hoped he was being reassuring and not creepy. “You don't have to protect me anymore.” He grinned. “Instead, you can teach me how to use my kagune so I can protect you for once!”

Kaneki sighed, pulling his hands back and tangling them together in his lap. He cracked his fingers as he spoke. “I never wanted you mixed up in this. You deserve better.”

“And you don't?”

Kaneki startled, his eyes meeting Hide's. He found himself unable to look away. “What?”

“This didn't just happen to me. You didn't choose this, either.” Hide glared at Kaneki's hands. “We're going to find Kanou and whoever else is involved. Anyone who hurt you since we were separated.” Hide took Kaneki's hands again, and Kaneki let him. “And when we find them, we're gonna fuck them up.”

“Hide!”

“What? We are.”

“But don't say it like that! What about Hinami?”

“She's not even home—“

“But what if she was? Watch your fucking language—“

Hide cut him off with a laugh. “I really missed you.”

That stopped Kaneki short. “Huh?”

“For all that's happened, you're still Kaneki. I'm glad.”

Hide watched as a spasm of pain flickered across Kaneki's face, dismayed as his friend took possession of his own hands again. “Hide... It's not as though I haven't changed.”

“Of course you've changed. The Kaneki I grew up with would have shit himself if he ever _met_ a ghoul, let alone fought one. And you can fight _two_ no problem. Hell, the Kaneki I grew up with couldn't have fought a human. Probably not even a baby.”

“Hide.”

“Okay, I know, get to the point.” Hide paused. “Uh, what was my point again?”

“Something about me not being able to fight a baby.”

Hide didn't seem to notice Kaneki's deadpan, smiling brightly. “Right! Well, I don't know how to explain it. Like, yeah, you've changed—a lot, obviously—but you're still Kaneki.” A pause. “You're still a nerd.”

“A nerd that could beat the shit out of you if I wanted to.”

“Yup!” Hide's smile didn't dim in the slightest. “Good thing you love me then, yeah?”

Kaneki couldn't help but smile back at that. “Yeah, good thing.”


	10. Chapter 10

Hide had fucking known this would happen. Hinami had returned to the apartment and Kaneki had deemed it time for them to start their training. And after that they were at it every day. He took a mostly hands off approach, content to let Hinami and Hide fight each other while he observed. Sometimes he would call out suggestions; mostly he would laugh at Hide's incompetence.

“I can't learn to fight if I'm fighting a teenage girl. It's not right,” Hide protested, but Kaneki had refused to relent.

“Ghouls and CCG investigators aren't monsters, Hide. They're _people_ , and they look like people. You can't freeze up because someone looks like a child.” Kaneki's face darkened. “I can promise you, they don't stay children for long in this world.”

And Hinami had no qualms about beating Hide into the ground until he learned that. They didn't use kagune (not yet, at least), but with Kaneki's instructions, she didn't need it. Hide wondered where Kaneki had learned so much about fighting in between taking and blocking hits. When their sparring sessions were finished, Hinami would tend to his wounds even as they healed, and Kaneki would prepare coffee for all of them.

Then it was time for Hinami's reading lessons, and Hide would sit on a couch nearby to listen to the sound of their voices. He didn't enjoy the same kinds of books the morbid pair did, but it somehow made the books better, listening to people he cared about reading them. Sometimes Hide would take Hinami out in lieu of a lesson if Kaneki had some work to get done with Tsukiyama and the others. He had to wear Kaneki's eyepatch now, and that thing was itchy. Hinami's favorite place to go was Kaneki's favorite bookstore, and for some reason that made a spot in Hide's chest ache. She even liked the same books he did, although Hide was able to convince her to pick up some manga on his luckier days. She'd been under the influence of Kaneki's tastes for too long. It was like getting a glimpse back in time.

Sometimes, Hide would get Kaneki to himself, when Hinami was otherwise occupied. They usually would stay in whatever safe house they occupied; it made Kaneki feel exposed to spend a lot of time, not that he would ever admit it. But Hide could recognize his abnormal paranoia in a heartbeat, and he tried to suggest activities they didn't need to leave to do. Often, they just curled up on the couch with their ever-present mugs of coffee, soaking in each other's presence. It almost didn't feel real to be together after so long.

It was one of those days, curled up on the couch with coffee and Kaneki, that Hide brought up something that had been on his mind since they'd first been reunited.

“So, are you like, a punk now?”

Kaneki's eyes widened. “What? No. Why?”

Hide scratched his cheek, chuckling. “Well, it's mostly the new look.” He ruffled his own hair to show what he meant, not that it was necessary. “Is that the style now, or what? It looks cool.”

Something clenched in Hide's chest as he watched Kaneki shut down. His expression went blank, the light in his eyes going flat. Where he had been fidgeting before, he now went almost unnaturally still. And when he spoke, his voice was toneless. Hide was bewildered; it was just hair. “I didn't dye my hair; it was a stress response. My nails aren't painted, either.” Kaneki's words filled Hide with a sick understanding, and he wished he hadn't asked. What could elicit such a powerful physical reaction? Hide couldn't imagine it.

“I'm sorry; I shouldn't have brought it up.”

“No. You shouldn't have.” Kaneki collected their cups of coffee and carried them to the kitchen, presumably to refill them. Hide felt like crying; even the way Kaneki walked was different than it had been before Hide had brought up his appearance. He looked like he was being hunted. Hide thought perhaps Kaneki had left to be alone, but he didn't want him to isolate himself. He followed Kaneki to the kitchen, but didn't get too close. Kaneki deserved at least a little bit of spcae. Kaneki was mumbling something under his breathe, and Hide strained to hear. He was... counting? Saying random numbers? No, there had to be a reason, a pattern...

Kaneki cracked one of his knuckles, and Hide jumped at the sudden sound. His elbow hit a mug near the edge of the counter, knocking it off. The sound of it shattering against the floor tiles drew Kaneki's attention. He turned to face Hide but did not startle and did not speak. His eyes bore into Hide, dark like he'd never seen them. Waiting.

“Are they dead? Whoever did this to you?”

There was a spark of life in Kaneki's expression, just for a second. It made Hide glad, but also frightened him. His question about someone's _death_ had caused that. “Yes.”

“Good. I'm glad.” And Hide thought maybe he needed to take a step back and think about how he'd reached the point where death could please him. But if it was for Kaneki's sake, he didn't mind what it said about him.

“I know it's not any consolation, but you _do_ look really cool like that.”

Kaneki laughed. “You're a real shit, you know that?”

Hide did know. But it had made Kaneki laugh, so he didn't mind.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've caught up to what I've written now, so updates might be a little more sparse. But I'm not giving up on this fic! I'm actually super excited to keep writing for Tokyo Ghoul (even if I probably should stop writing in class...)

That conversation acted as a catalyst for Hide. Kaneki had been hurt while Hide had been too weak to be able to help him. Now Hide had been made strong (at a price he tried not to think about), and he hadn't been learning how to properly _use_ that strength. Kaneki still had to protect him.

But he still _really_ didn't want to fight Hinami.

He ran through his other options. Kaneki would refuse and reiterate his reasons for having Hide fight Hinami. Tsukiyama creeped him out. Banjou was busy. Ichimi was busy. Jiro was busy. Sante was busy. Hide grabbed his eyepatch and headed to Anteiku. What Kaneki didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

~~~~~~~~~~

Touka was at the counter when he walked in, as he'd hoped. A crease formed between her eyebrows as she watched him enter; he didn't mind. It had been awhile. And he probably smelled different, or something. He ordered a black coffee, and besides a raised eyebrow, the conversation was unremarkable. He took a seat at the counter and watched the people moving around the cafe, waiting for a lull in the business so that he could talk to Touka. He was alerted when the lull came by the slap of a dishtowel against the counter in front of him. “Where the hell have you been?”

“Good to see you, too.”

“Don't sass me, Nagachika. You've been missing for weeks. You're all over the news. And now you come in wearing a patch and drinking your coffee black but still acting like everything is normal?”

“Familiar, isn't it?”

Silence. Touka stared, and Hide met her gaze evenly.

“You too, then.” Hide nodded. “Have you found him? Of course you have, otherwise you'd have been here weeks ago.”

“It was more like he found me, but yeah.”

“Is he okay?”

“I think so,” Hide answers. “He's hurting, but he said the people who hurt him are dead. So it's a start.”

“Aogiri, then. He's going after Aogiri.”

Hide had heard the others talk about Aogiri, but hadn't asked for clarification. It wasn't safe for him to know yet, when he couldn't even defend himself. “You know about Aogiri? They hurt Kaneki?”

“I don't know what they did, exactly...” Touka trailed off as she scrubbed at an imaginary mark on the counter. “They took him from our back room, and they had him for two weeks before we saw him again. And when we found him, he was... different. His hair was white. He cracked his knuckles almost constantly. He kept shaking his head, like there was something in his ear.” Touka's frown deepened. “And he was _strong_ , but... cruel.” She shook her head and sighed.

“You think they tortured him?” Hide felt sick, the bitter taste of coffee thick on his tongue.

Touka nodded. “I don't know what else could have changed him so much. And there were rumors about one of the higher-ranking ghouls there. Jason of the 13th ward.” A customer approached the counter for a refill, and Touka served her with a strained smile that dissipated as soon as she left. “We shouldn't talk about this here. My shift ends in 15 minutes. Can you wait?” Hide nodded, and Touka drifted away to continue working.

“You're back?” A familiar voice greeted him 15 minutes later. Hide turned around to find Nishiki was there, already in uniform.

“Yup! For now, at least.” Touka circled around the counter to trade places with Nishiki, and Hide stood to let her lead him wherever they were going. Hide grinned. “Oh, and now that I don't have to pretend not to know about it anymore—fuck you for trying to kill me that one time. That was a dick move. Nice to see you, though!” He turned to Touka, who was smiling, but she frowned at him as soon as she realized he was looking. “Lead the way, Touka!”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this chapter took a couple of days longer than I expected! These are the last few weeks of my semester, so things are a little busy. Hopefully the next chapter will come a little faster!

Touka led Hide to the back of the store and up a flight of stairs to a small room with a couch and a coffee table and not much else. Although, strangely, there was a birdcage inside it. Hide looked from the cage to Touka with raised eyebrows, but she just sat on the couch, crossed her arms, and offered no explanation. Hide took his place on the other side of the couch and took off his eyepatch.

“Damn, that thing is itchy!”

“Don't be so shitty about keeping your eye normal, and you won't have to wear it.” Touka was merciless. “Now, what did you come here for? Don't you have Kaneki to help you with everything, or is there trouble in paradise?”

Hide pursed his lips. “Kaneki... doesn't know I'm here. He's trying to teach Hinami and me to fight by having us spar each other. She's doing great, she loves it, but I... She's so cute, how am I supposed to fight her?” Hide wailed, waving his arms for emphasis.

Touka clicked her tongue against the back of her teeth. “You're pathetic.” Hide winced. “Hinami's beating you up, so you came running here for help.”

“It's not like that!” Hide cried, standing. “This whole time, I've been weak... Too weak to do anything.” He clenched his fists. “Now that I have this body, I want to learn how to use it so I can protect the people I care about. I don't want to fight against them.” He sighed, opening his hands and turning them to look at his palms. He traced one hand with the other, over the base of his fingers where he'd seen the scars on Kaneki's hands. “I never want Kaneki to feel like he has to suffer to protect me again.”

Touka's expression remained unchanged, but her arms were no longer crossed. Hide took that as a good sign. “So you came here.”

Hide clasped his hands together in front of him. “You taught Kaneki, didn't you? Tsukiyama freaks me out, please don't make me go to him. Please, teach me how to fight.”

Touka stood and placed her hands on her hips, studying Hide's expression. Hide tried his best to pull off puppy-dog eyes, hoping to convince her to help him. Finally, she spoke. “Fine. Be here tomorrow at close. Don't be late.”

Hide squealed and received a punch to the jaw for his excitement.

~

When he returned to the apartment, Hinami greeted him by jumping into his arms. She immediately wrinkled her nose.

“You smell like coffee.”

Hide chuckled. “Yeah, I went to a little cafe. Figured it was a pretty safe way to get used to being around people without you guys. And I got to do some people-watching, too!”

Hinami's face lit up. “How'd it go? Do you think you'll be able to take the patch off soon?”

Hide put Hinami down, scratching the side of his face. “Ah, I don't know about that. I'll have to keep going, and we'll see.”

“Hide, you're back.” Kaneki appeared at the end of the hallway, his eyes boring into Hide. “Nothing happened?”

Hide grinned and approached Kaneki, throwing an arm around his shoulders. “You don't need to worry; I'm a-okay! No trouble at all.”

“Good.”

“You don't need to be so serious, Kaneki, I'm _fine_!” He started steering Kaneki further into the apartment. “You need to relax, dude. C'mon.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, finals are quickly approaching. It might be a week or two until I get the next chapter posted, but I'll try not to keep you waiting too long! And as always, feedback is appreciated!

Hide made his excuses and went back to Anteiku the next night, not quite sure what to expect. When he pushed open the door, the chime of the bell echoed in a way Hide had never heard it when the cafe was full. Touka was stacking chairs. The room was dark, but he could see as well as he could have if the lights had been on. Touka glared back at him from her spot near the counter.

“You're late.”

Hide winced. “Kaneki wanted to come with me; he's a little... overprotective, these days.”

Touka sighed. “That brat. Well, I'm done here anyway. Let's go.”

Hide followed Touka to the back of the store, where she opened a door he'd assumed would lead to a storage closet but actually led to a set of stairs.

“You have a basement?”

“Obviously. Come on, didn't you want to learn how to fight?” It was time for Hide to get beaten up by someone a little older, this time. But first, Touka wanted to see Hide's kagune.

“It's the same as Hinami's,” he admitted, feeling embarrassed but not being altogether sure why.

Touka's frowned deepened. “What?”

“It's apparently exactly Hinami's kagune. Kaneki thinks the CCG is experimenting with making kakuhou from existing quinques.”

“They were able to make you a hybrid..?” Hide nodded, and Touka's ukaku sprouted from her back. “I won't believe that until I see it. Defend yourself!” And before Hide could think about it, she was running at him. Hide yelped, flinching, but was unable to either avoid or defend against the attack. He fell to the ground, clutching at his shoulder where her kagune had hit him. His shirt was torn, blood seeping into it from the deep wound that was already beginning to knit itself closed. Shit, Kaneki was going to be pissed.

“Touka, what the hell? That hurts!” He stumbled to his feet, still grasping his injured shoulder.

“Then fight back!” she insisted, coming at him again. This time he managed to duck away at the last second, but she only snarled at him. “Don't run; it's counterproductive.”

“You're attacking me, of course I'm going to run!”

Touka glared. “Don't run. Defend.” Hide briefly thought that defending himself was a lot easier said than done before he was plunged back into the battle. She kept coming at him, and whether he dodged or bled he had no time to pause before he had to intercept another attack. His shirt wasn't going to be salvageable, and his body stung from neck to waist.

Then, Touka stopped. Hide was gasping for breath, and Touka's shoulders shook with exertion. At first, Hide thought that was why she'd stopped. And then her kagune began to crystallize,

and suddenly he was back with Kaneki and Tsukiyama, about to die in Kanou's compound,

and then the shards broke against his own kagune, finally summoned in order to shield him from certain death.

“Finally!” Touka yelled, withdrawing her own kagune. “It really is the same as Hinami's,” she muttered, almost to herself. “You'll be strong if you can learn how to use it properly.”

Hide grinned. “That's exactly what I wanted to hear. Where should we start?”

Touka glanced at her watch. “It's late; we'll start tomorrow, same time. We won't need to worry about getting your kagune out again for awhile. First, you need to be able to fight without it.”

Hide looked down at his ruined shirt. He could only imagine Kaneki's reaction to him walking through the door like this. “Do you..?”

“There are extra uniform shirts upstairs. You'll have to come up with a story, but it's probably better than going home like that.”

“Thanks, Touka.”

“Don't mention it.” She started walking upstairs back to the shop, but stopped halfway up. “Seriously. Don't.”

~

Hide changed his shirt and tossed the old one, knowing that even Kaneki would be able to smell the blood on it even if it hadn't been torn up as badly as it was. It's not like he was ever going to be able to wear it again, anyway. And then he headed home, planning his story in his head. The story itself was believable, but it was going to be all in the execution. Hide was confident in his ability to lie, but he had never really lied to Kaneki knowing it was something Kaneki would rather know. This would be the first time. He steeled himself before he opened the door.

“Yo, Kaneki, Hinami! I'm home! The funniest thing happened today—“

“Nagachika! No greeting for moi?” Hide felt his heart in his throat. Kaneki had been keeping Tsukiyama and the others busy, so they hadn't been around at this time very often. He'd been counting on Hinami being the only full ghoul in the house, knowing that with her sense of smell she'd know he'd been at Anteiku with her first breath drawn in his presence. He could talk to Hinami, and he knew she would understand his purpose in going—he'd even contemplated bringing her with him, eventually. But Tsukiyama was an unknown variable, and Hide knew he was in trouble the moment the ghoul came into his line of sight. Tsukiyama took a deep breath very deliberately, narrowing his eyes at Hide. “Well?”

Hide knew his smile was strained, but it was better than the alternative of letting his face drop. “Hello, Tsukiyama. I didn't realize you were here. Where are Kaneki and Hinami?” He wasn't sure if he wanted to get Tsukiyama away from them or bring him towards them; he barely knew the man. Would he expose Hide right away? Would he try to keep the conflict away from Hinami? Would he try to avoid upsetting Kaneki by trying to confront Hide alone? His thoughts were racing, barely under his control, and all he could focus on outside his own head was Tsukiyama's easy smirk.

“They're in the living room. Hinami managed to convince Kaneki to do some more reading with her today, seeing as you were... busy.”

“Well, we all know none of us can really say no to Hinami.” Hide started walking forward, hoping to escape the tense atmosphere between himself and Tsukiyama, but Tsukiyama did not step out of the doorway. The tension only escalated. “Look, can we not do this now? Hinami can probably hear us, she's going to start paying attention if I'm accosted in the doorway for too long.”

Tsukiyama stared back at him for so long that Hide was beginning to think he didn't care if Hinami overheard and alerted Kaneki. But then, he stepped away from the door without a word. Hide passed him slowly, feeling a pair of eyes boring into his back. He'd have to figure out what he was going to do about Tsukiyama, and quickly.

“Hide!” Hinami greeted him, waving from where she was seated on the couch with a book between her and Kaneki. “What were you going to say happened today?”

Hide laughed to himself, scratching the side of his head. “I, uh, managed to bump into a cute waitress and spilled the coffee she was carrying all over myself. In the middle of the store! It was so embarrassing, and that coffee was hot!” He dropped himself on the other couch, draping himself over the armrest dramatically. “It was just awful. Luckily the shop had extra uniforms in the back, so she let me have one since my shirt was ruined. Imagine, I finally meet a cute girl and that's the first impression I make! How tragic!”

Hinami giggled at Hide's dramatics, but Kaneki just stared. Hide started to feel nervous under his gaze—he couldn't know, could he?

“Don't be ridiculous, Hide,” he finally said. “There's no way that girl was interested in you anyway.”

For the first time, Hide was relieved to hear the jab his best friend made at him. “Kaneki, you wound me so! You're right, probably, but you shouldn't say such mean things to your best friend!”

Warmth spread through his chest as Kaneki offered him a soft smile in reply, and for a moment, he forgot about his conflict with Tsukiyama.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay now this is really the last chapter before finals, because my finals start tomorrow. I wrote this to procrastinate writing an essay.

And then in the morning, Tsukiyama was gone. When Hide asked about him, Kaneki gave him a weird look and said he'd had to go away looking for information, and why did Hide suddenly care about Tsukiyama anyway? Hide shrugged it off, told Kaneki he was just wondering since the ghoul had been there the previous night, but in reality, he was relieved.

Tsukiyama was gone, if only for a little while. Hide had time now to figure out what he was going to do about the ghoul's information. He didn't want Kaneki to know he'd been going to Touka—he'd separated from the Anteiku ghouls for whatever reason, and going back to them felt too much like a betrayal, no matter his reasons. No, Kaneki couldn't know anything until Hide became strong.

But how to keep Tsukiyama quiet..? Hide didn't want to admit that he had no idea.

~

“How is Touka?” Hinami asked three days later. Tsukiyama was still away, and Kaneki left as soon as Hide came home to hunt. Hide tried not to think too much about that, only being grateful that it left him alone with Hinami when she finally asked that question.

“She's doing well, as far as I can tell. I don't think she'd help me if she wasn't okay on her end.”

Hinami nodded. “She's teaching you how to fight, isn't she?”

Hide startled. “What—how did you know?” If Hinami had noticed something, Kaneki might have noticed. And Hide hadn't made much progress—it had only been four days, of course he hadn't. Kaneki couldn't know yet.

“Sometimes when you come back, you smell a little bit like blood. And you were a lot harder to hit during our spar this morning.”

Hide chuckled, scratching his cheek. “I guess I have to do a better job of hiding what I'm up to, then.”

Hinami shrugged. “Kaneki can't smell it on you, and he's probably just glad he doesn't have to bandage you up so much anymore.” She grinned. “But if you want to go back to being my punching bag, I don't mind!”

“You are too cheerful about beating me up.”

Hinami giggled, but didn't deny it. They both knew she would be acting much differently if the fights weren't for both of their own good, or if Hide wasn't fine almost immediately after they stopped.

“Why didn't you tell Kaneki when you realized I was lying to him?”

Hinami was quiet for a little bit, considering the question. “He left Anteiku because he wants to protect the people there,” she started. “But he didn't need to. He just thinks he needs to keep people away from him, if he can convince them.” She paused again, as if grasping for words. Hide didn't interrupt. “I guess I want to be able to protect him, too. But I'm not strong. So I just have to help you protect him instead, and do my best to cheer him up when he gets into those moods of his at home.” She smiled, and Hide was struck by just how much this young girl was not a child. “I do what I can, but I want you to be able to do the stuff that I can't. And you can't do that if you refuse to learn how to fight with me, so you need to learn it somewhere else.”

“Man, when I was your age, I was such a brat. You're a good kid, Hinami.”

“I know. You should get me a book next time we go out to show me just how much you appreciate it.”

He knew she had an ulterior motive to all of this.

~

He didn't tell Touka about his problem with Tsukiyama, but in retrospect, maybe he should have. Especially because one night in the middle of their sparring practice, they were surprised by Tsukiyama bursting through the door at the tops of the stairs that led back to the main restaurant.

“What do you want?” Touka snarled, stepping towards the intruder. Hide noticed that the movement put her between him and Tsukiyama, but he didn't have time to be touched.

“Oh, don't act as though you're not ecstatic to see me, that's no way to greet an old friend. Besides, I'm here to speak to our darling Nagachika.” Tsukiyama's eyes met his, and Hide felt a shiver go down his spine. He was suddenly aware of just how unsafe he was.

“I don't have to explain myself to you.”

Tsukiyama's ever-present smirk widened, and Hide's stomach tightened. “Au contraire—you do. If you don't want to be explaining to our dear Kaneki why you felt the need to go behind his back, that is. Really, he deserves better.”

Hide gritted his teeth. He'd had more than a week to prepare for this confrontation, and Tsukiyama had still caught him flat-footed. “You're just going to tell him anyway. I don't see why I should humor you.”

“So little faith in me, Hideyoshi. May I call you Hideyoshi? I feel like we've gotten close, sharing our own little secret like this.”

“Stop being creepy, Tsukiyama,” Touka cut in. “You're not welcome here.”

“Are you going to kick me out? You nice ghouls are all the same, always trying to get rid of me... even Kaneki, even after I've pledged to be the knife under his pillow.” He turned his gaze back on Hide, and this time he wasn't smirking—he was glaring, an inferno lit behind his eyes. “Especially after he found _you_.”

“I can't help it if Kaneki would rather hang out with his best friend than a stalker with no fashion sense—“

“ _You took him from me_!” Tsukiyama yelled, his voice echoing. He started smoothing his hair, muttering to himself. “Calmato, calmato...” He sighed. “You haven't done the things I've done for him. You don't _deserve_ him... But you walk back into his life and suddenly he's blind to everything and everyone else, no matter what we do.”

“Kaneki isn't a prize to be won. You can't expect him to want you because you do shit for him, that's gross—“

“You don't know _anything_ ,” Tsukiyama growled.

“I know that you're a disgusting piece of shit that shouldn't be anywhere _near_ Kaneki! Yet somehow, he pitied you enough to let you stay, like a stray dog.” Hide's fear dissolved, leaving anger in its wake. “He's dealt with enough, he shouldn't have to put up with you hanging around begging for scraps.”

Tsukiyama stalked forward, bypassing Touka to get in Hide's face. “And what's a shrimp like you going to do about it?”

“Hide—“ Hide had nearly forgotten Touka was there. He pushed her out of his mind again.

“Fight me.” Hide knew he was no match for Tsukiyama. But for Kaneki's sake... he could fight hard enough to at least get a message across.

“Hide, no—“

“I accept,” Tsukiyama said, that infuriating smirk widening into a leery grin. “I promise I won't actually kill you—Kaneki would miss his little pet.”

Hide chose to diplomatically ignore that last bit. “If you leave yourself open, I won't hesitate to rip your head from your shoulders.” If it was for Kaneki's sake... he could stomach it.

“You're fucking ridiculous, both of you!” At being ignored again, Touka groaned and rolled her eyes. “Men. They never listen.”

Hide hoped he wasn't making a habit out of getting the shit beaten out of him by various people at this point.


	15. Chapter 15

Touka hadn't been able to convince the two not to fight, but she did stick around just in case things got out of hand. She claimed it was because the both of them were overzealous and she had to make sure they didn't destroy Anteiku, but Hide chose to take it as a gesture of caring. After all, she had originally stepped between him and Tsukiyama when Tsukiyama had first entered Anteiku. Of course, that could also be a sign that she just thought Hide was completely unable to take care of himself, which was... likely, if he was honest. Either way, Touka was sitting at the bottom of the stairs leading up to Anteiku's main restaurant, and he and Tsukiyama were gearing up to face off. Hide wouldn't admit it out loud, but he was scared. He hadn't fought anyone since high school, and even then those had been schoolyard fights between a bunch of kids who didn't know what they were doing—including him.

And he wasn't sure he believed that Tsukiyama meant it when he said he wouldn't kill Hide—sure, Kaneki would hunt his ass down if he dared, but Hide hadn't missed the way Tsukiyama sniffed at the air a lot whenever he and Kaneki were around. He'd heard about the whole wanting-to-eat-Kaneki thing. He wasn't sure that didn't also extend to him. He really didn't want to get eaten by a guy who was supposed to be working with Kaneki. Or by anyone, really. But across the room, Tsukiyama brought out his kagune with a flourish, bowing gracefully as it extended past his hand.

Fuck. Hide and Touka hadn't gotten to the part where she taught him how to summon his kagune at-will yet. He and Tsukiyama stared each other down from across the playing field, each unwilling to make the first move. Hide went over what he knew about Tsukiyama's fighting style from the fight he'd witnessed against the bikaku-type ghoul at the compound. He had a koukaku, which meant that his attacks would hit as hard as it had looked like they did—perhaps harder. Koukaku were heavy, and hard to break. And, fortunately for Hide, slow. He had a shot at dodging Tsukiyama long enough to hit back, not that he expected a week of training was going to be enough to help him much there. Hide was beginning to regret picking this fight; he had to be alive to protect Kaneki, after all.

Too late now. Tsukiyama apparently tired of waiting for Hide to do something, as he was rushing across the room to begin his attack. Hide was more ready for this than he was his fight with Touka, but not by much. He waited until Tsukiyama was close and ducked under the stab of his kagune, bringing his left arm up to push on the inside of his arm so that he could get in a punch to Tsukiyama's abdomen, pushing him back a few steps.

Tsukiyama only grinned. “You know, usually when ghouls fight, we use our kagune.” He laughed airily. “But you can't, can you? You still haven't learned how to take it out purposely.”

Hide gritted his teeth. That might be true, but he hadn't meant for Tsukiyama to figure it out so quickly. There was no way he was going to able to do anything but counter Tsukiyama's attacks without a kagune of his own—that's why CCG investigators used quinques, after all—so he'd need to figure out how to summon it.

Tsukiyama lashed out again, his kagune cutting into the top of Hide's shoulder as he failed to dodge fast enough.

He'd have to think quickly.

Minutes later, the fight was deteriorating into a game of cat-and-mouse. Tsukiyama was as pristine as he'd entered the room, not a scratch on him. He hadn't even gotten any of Hide's blood on his suit, despite the close quarters of his attacks. And there was a lot of blood. There was a cut on Hide's forehead, blood dripping down into his eye, his chest was gouged open in several places, and he could barely feel his left arm through the blood loss. And he was moving more sluggishly through the pain, which only made it even easier for Tsukiyama to hit him.

So far, he'd summoned his kagune through pain and fear, and he was certainly feeling plenty of both at this point. However, the one condition he couldn't recreate was that his kagune had previously appeared when fighting ukaku users who shot crystals at him. That wasn't going to happen with Tsukiyama, so he'd have to figure out something else. He was running out of time.

This time when Tsukiyama came at him, Hide ducked rather than dodging completely, knocking into Tsukiyama's legs in order to knock him over. The cheap maneuver worked, Tsukiyama falling over Hide to land behind him. Hide turned to attack Tsukiyama for real before he could get up, and this time, something felt different. Looking down at Tsukiyama, Hide felt power, a giddy feeling ballooning in his chest. And as he felt something materializing behind him, he couldn't help but grin.

He was still the far less experienced fighter, but the tables were turning. They could both use their kagunes now. Hide took a step back, his rinkaku bursting forward to snap against Tsukiyama's cheek, just barely hitting him as the other man rolled out of the way.

“Congratulations, Nagachika. Unfortunately, having your kagune is not going to be enough to win this fight.” Hide couldn't help but register the fact that Tsukiyama looked a little crazed now that he'd successfully fought back, and his stomach sank. Tsukiyama had been toying with him the whole time, but now he'd made the other ghoul angry.

And before Hide could react, Tsukiyama was right in front of him and there was a horrible pain in his stomach. He tasted blood in his mouth, and he looked down to see that he'd been impaled by Tsukiyama's kagune. His own kagune disappeared, and as soon as Tsukiyama pulled back, he fell to the ground. His vision swam, but he could see Tsukiyama's leer as he looked up at the other man. And he could see that he was pulling back his arm to strike again, and Hide had no chance of getting away from that. He had been right to be wary in the beginning—Tsukiyama really was going to kill him, wasn't he?

“That's enough.” Touka's voice echoed through the basement with more power than he'd ever heard in it before. Tsukiyama looked away from him, relaxing his arm, and Touka started speaking again. But Hide couldn't hear what she was saying this time, and he slumped against the concrete floor in a pool of his own blood, knowing nothing more.

When he next became vaguely aware, he was beginning carried by someone, his head over one arm and his legs over the other. He opened his eyes, saw Touka's face above him, and ran out of energy, falling into darkness again.

He didn't know how much time had passed, but he was completely horizontal this time, and there were voices raised all around him.

“I can't fucking believe you! I knew you were disgusting, but this is ridiculous, even for you. Attacking our allies—you have no self-control.” It was Kaneki. He'd know that voice anywhere. “Get out of my sight before I tear off your limbs and shove them up your ass.”

“Kaneki—“ Tsukiyama. And his voice shook horribly. He sounded terrified, and it filled Hide with a sense of satisfaction.

“Leave!” The sound of glass breaking. And then footsteps retreated, and he heard the front door open and close. Another set of feet approached him. “How is he?” Kaneki's voice was his own again, quiet and scared. Hide had never heard him as angry as when he'd been yelling at Tsukiyama, and a spot of warmth bloomed in his chest at the thought that it was for his sake.

“He'll be okay. He'll need to eat when he wakes up, though. Do you have something?” At the sound of Touka's voice, he realized there were a pair of hands on his abdomen, doing... something. Did he feel bandages? He didn't know what Touka was doing, but he didn't feel panicked; he trusted her.

Kaneki didn't answer the question of if they had food, and Hide realized he'd probably nodded. He felt a hand in his hair, petting him. Kaneki's long fingers, stroking his scalp. If he wasn't careful, those could lull him back to sleep. “There's a lot of blood... What even happened? Why were you there?”

A sigh. “Hide has been coming to Anteiku; he wanted me to teach him to fight.” The hand moved out of his hair, and Hide mourned the loss. “Don't be mad at him—he did it for you, Idiot. He'll explain when he wakes up, anyway.”

This time, Kaneki sighed, apparently relenting. But he didn't put his hand back in Hide's hair, which was concerning. “Where does Tsukiyama enter the picture?”

“I guess he found out about what Hide was doing; I don't know, he didn't tell me. Tsukiyama just showed up today and started yelling.” Hide realized Touka was calling him by his nickname, and he would have grinned if he could feel his face. “I think he was jealous that Hide was taking all of your attention.” Touka paused. “You really should talk to him about all of this, when he wakes up.”

“Will he wake up soon?”

“Do I look like a fucking doctor to you? How am I supposed to know—“ Hide's stomach throbbed, and he groaned, barely registering that all conversation stopped as he did.

“Hide! Hide oh my god, are you okay?”

Hide managed to crack his eyes open, grinning. “Never felt better.” His voice was like gravel, and quiet. “Except for all the horrible pain I'm in, I mean.” He turned his head—apparently he was on the couch—to see two faces looking back at him. Touka's was blank, unamused, and Kaneki's was crumpling, tears in his eyes. “Hey, don't worry about me—I was kidding. I'll be fine.” He started to reach out, but winced and stopped. His left hand, the more injured one, was the one on the outside of the couch. “Come here so I can pat your face, I gotta use my right arm for this.”

Kaneki didn't move. “Hide, be serious. You could've died—“

“And I'm telling you that I'm fine, so stop with the sad face. Touka saved me, after all.” He was sure Touka hadn't mentioned that part, and by the slight coloring of pink on her cheeks, he was right.

“What?” Kaneki turned to look at Touka, who looked away.

“He's exaggerating.”

“No, she stopped the fight and everything—Shittyama was totally about to stab me in the face, but she was all like that's enough and he back off and then I passed out so I don't know what else, but he's an asshole so I'm sure there was another fight there—“

“Hide, shut up. You have no idea what you're talking about.”

Kaneki was already convinced, though, and he put a hand on Touka's shoulder. “Thank you. You've always had my back, and I'm glad you had Hide's today.”

“Yeah well, anything to piss off Tsukiyama.” She stood, and Hide saw that blood stained the entire front of her uniform shirt. He suddenly remembered that she'd carried him back to the apartment, and hadn't seemed to struggle over his weight at all. “I should go now, but let me know if you need anything. Especially if you need me to kick the Gourmet's ass.” She didn't wait for Hide or Kaneki to respond, breezing out the door and closing it behind her.

“You need to eat and rest, but in the morning, I want you to tell me everything that happened. Including why you went to Anteiku in the first place.”

Hide sighed, resigning himself to calming down a very distressed Kaneki. “Okay.” He reached out his left hand to grab Kaneki's wrist, ignoring the sting in his wounds. “Stay with me?”

Kaneki frowned down at him. “I need to get your food.”

“No, I mean to sleep. I want you to stay.”

“Oh.” Kaneki's face heated up inexplicably. Hide didn't understand; they did this all the time, before they'd gotten caught up in the world of ghouls. And once since, but who was counting? (The answer is Hide. Hide was.) “Well, there's no room on the couch, so I can't.”

Hide grinned at him. “Take me to bed, then.”

He watched as Kaneki's face got even redder, and he mumbled an excuse as he escaped to the kitchen. Hide would have to explore that later; that was very interesting, but his pain-addled mind couldn't make any sense of it just yet. In fact, he was already falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, anyone reading this! Wow, it sure has been awhile. More than a year, actually. I had forgotten about this fic for awhile, but a comment the other day reminded me that I should give it some kind of closure.
> 
> This is all I had written out for this fic, and at least for the time being, I don't intend on writing anything else. I really only started this fic knowing I wanted to write half-ghoul Hide joining up with Kaneki, and there really wasn't anything substantial planned for me to continue. I did plan on doing something with the CCG creating their own artificial hybrid quinques, and perhaps delving into them finding out about the Quinx program, but I don't remember any of it well enough to finish it now. Rest assured that Hide and Kaneki are extremely gay, if nothing else.
> 
> TL;DR thank you to everyone who's read this, I appreciate all of you, and this is the end of the line for this fic


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